Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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