can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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