hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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