I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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