We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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