I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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