when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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