Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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