where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
