I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
this will be a night to untag.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Randomize