i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
