Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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