You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
