what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
