She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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