I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
