I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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