It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Randomize
