I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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