Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Randomize
