Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
