when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
So much Jack, so little girl.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
