I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
