Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize