Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
