I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
