i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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