So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
