Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
We are all done wearing pants today
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