god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
