but the lizard people decide everything anyway
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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