The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
