Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
