Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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