his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Randomize
