Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
