matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
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