Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize