Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
How does it feel to date your dad?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
