I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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