you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize