I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
