Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
