you would pick up someone in the library
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
