I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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