Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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