so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Randomize
