As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
