You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
