eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
