I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
