yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
