It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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