over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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