WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
