Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
And my parents said I crawled through the house
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize