Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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