I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
