we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
