bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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