me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
